35 Years of Marriage

If you ask me if I am an expert on marriage, I would have to say YES! My husband, Bubba and I, have been married for 35 years as of Sunday, August 14th. I have to say, I think that I have the best of this partnership.
Bub and I met when we were very, very young because our parents were friends. Twenty some odd years later, we looked at each other and wondered where the other one had been for all the years. It has been pretty much like that ever since.
While our marriage has not always been a bed of roses, and we have struggled with outside forces, what we are made of is what keeps us together. With marriages being so expendable these days, I do not think that many of marriages are built on "forever", I mean really "forever"!
The most important aspects of a marriage are: First and foremost, if you truly love one another you treat each other with respect; in private and in public! Second, you realize that you fell in love with nothing....so do not allow any outside forces to divide you. Third, never go to bed mad! There is so much truth in this, if you go to bed mad you will wake up mad and resentful. Fourth, and I think the most important, do not marry someone you have not been introduced to ( I mean really introduced to). When I say this, I mean, really know the person you are about to spend the rest of your life with. Fifth, if you have children, always remember that the two of you existed before children....the children exist because of the love the two of you have and that is the only reason they exist. Remember the two of you were united first, if you keep this front and foremost, everything else will fall into place.
While Bub and I had known of each other for years, we really did not get to know each other until we had been counseled by our Priest for many months. He made certain that we knew what we were getting into and made sure we knew each others thoughts, wishes, dreams and yes, disappointments. If something happens to one, it affects the other, no matter what you think! Too many marriages, with couples being raised in homes too busy for church or the guidance of elders, have no idea about commitment and perseverance. Our society has created a society of no commitment! Or, if it gets hard...just move on! For this I am very thankful, because of our commitment to one another, and our respect for each other, we have been able to grow old together with all its ups and downs. It is sad, but they just do not make marriages like Bub and I have much anymore. I pray Bub and I have raised our sons to understand this commitment. In order to be happy, you have to be happy with yourself, in order to be happy with yourself you have to be able to sacrifice for others and do it with no resentment or regrets ~ unselfish love is what it boils down to....but not one sided, it has to be both parties participating in this thing call marriage all of the time 24/7.